Big Heads

Just a couple thoughts in response to the misconception that 

“Teaching gifted kids to self-advocate won’t work because if we tell them they’re smart, they’ll just get big heads.”

• Gifted kids already know they’re smart, but they frequently don’t know how to put that into perspective. That’s why it’s vital for them to take a close look at the whole concept of giftedness.

• When they know what gifted is and isn’t, they realize that they can be better AT something than others, but that doesn’t make them better THAN others.

• Interacting with like-ability peers helps them discover the great diversity of gifted kids - the wide range of interests, preferences, personalities, and experiences.

• Assessing their personal learner profiles leads them to also think about areas that need improvement, sometimes a humbling experience!

All of which leads me to a sport analogy . . . Do you think it might be better if we didn’t tell gifted athletes that they are on the varsity basketball team? We wouldn’t want them to get big heads!

Here's to all the Mrs. Dickies in the World

When I was in third grade my school district balanced uneven class sizes by creating a combined class: eight 4th-graders, eight 3rd-graders, and eight 1st-graders.  The teacher they hired for the class, Flora Dickie, had years of experience in a rural one-room school and I imagine the prospect of three different grades in one classroom didn’t faze her at all. It was during that year, Mrs. Dickie gave me a most wonderful gift . . . the love of books. 

We lived in a small town (population less than 2000) and the local public library was a tiny windowless room in the dank basement of the closed movie theater.  There were probably less than a thousand books on the shelves and only a handful for children.  (I had already checked out all of them.) 

So each Wednesday after school, Mrs. Dickie drove one of us students 12 miles away to the beautiful Red Wing Minnesota Carnegie Lawther Public Library, where she pointed out books she thought would interest us personally.  It was through her that I fell in love with words and poetry and humor and imagination.

So here’s to all the Mrs. Dickies in the world who open doors for students, recognizing gifts and talents and passing on their own passion for learning.  The impact of your deeds lasts a lifetime . . . and beyond, as we too give to those we teach and love.

Repeat for Emphasis. Repeat for Emphasis.

Not only do we need to be intentional about teaching gifted kids to self-advocate we also must reinforce the skill throughout their remaining school years.    

Case in point?  Amelia.  She was one of those amazing kids who loved school, loved her friends, loved cross country, loved community service, loved creating works of art, loved Destination Imagination, and loved her teachers.  It wouldn’t be a stretch to say that her teachers loved her in return because of her energy, her positive attitude, her willingness to work hard.

And Amelia was always up for an intellectual challenge, including the International Baccalaureate Diploma Programme, one of the most academically demanding high school programs. 

But half way through her first year of IB, Amelia walked into my office in tears.  “I can’t do this,” she said.  “I have too many mid-term deadlines during the same week.  I can’t do a good job on anything when everything  takes so much time, so much thought and energy.” 

“Have you talked to your teachers about the deadlines?”  I asked.

“OMG!”  Amelia said.  “You’ve been telling us about self-advocacy since 6th grade and now, for the first time, I need to do it!”

And guess who talked to each of her teachers, proposed alternative due dates, and did an extraordinary job on all of her IB assessments.

Actual self-advocacy is an ongoing process that students consciously or subconsciously must be comfortable using if and when they need it throughout their lives.   

Triage: Who Needs it Most?

I first heard the term “triage” on TVs Mash in the 1960s.  It’s a process for sorting injured people into groups based on their need for or likely benefit from immediate medical treatment. 

The current RtI (response to intervention) movement in education must include triage for gifted students.  Not because our kids are injured but because they are some of the outliers, in greatest need and most likely to benefit from immediate treatment. 

Sometimes our brightest kids refuse the panacea we’ve prescribed because the cure-all doesn’t fit their gift.  When kids self-advocate, they let us know exactly where it hurts!

The Right to an Appropriate Educaton

Most school mission statements include phrases like . . .

 “providing rigorous programming for all”

 “including diverse educational opportunities”

 “each individual can achieve optimum intellectual growth”

 “encouraging everyone to see and be her personal best”

Sadly, many gifted teens don’t think this applies to them.  They haven’t claimed their right to an education that is engaging and challenging and differentiated for their needs.

Students need to believe that asking for an appropriately challenging curriculum is not asking for more than they deserve.  

According to the recent NAGC report, thirty-one states have some form of legal mandate related to gifted and talented education. Even here in Wisconsin, where virtually no state funds are devoted to gifted education, we have a statute that requires each public school board to “provide access to an appropriate program for pupils identified as gifted.”

Our children do have rights and knowing that empowers them to self-advocate.

You can download a copy of the NAGC Gifted Children's Bill of Rights.

Judy Galbraith in Gifted Kids Survival Guide puts it like this:  You have the right to a rigorous education, which stretches your skills and thinking every day.

You have a right

• to be in classes that are challenging and interesting

• to know about giftedness and why you’re in or should be in an enriched or accelerated class

• to make mistakes and “not do your best” if you feel like it

• to be with other kids who really understand you

• to be treated with respect by friends, teachers, and parents

• to be different.

We have an obligation to assure that gifted kids understand their rights and use their voices to get what they need.

Ben's Story

“Teaching gifted kids to self-advocate won’t work because they’ll ask for something we can’t offer.”

Ben loved science.   As a preschooler his TV preferences were PBS science shows and even before he could read he began paging through Popular Science.  In grade school, he was good at every subject, but he was passionate about science and eager for secondary school classes that would stretch his mind.

Middle school general science was disappointing, however.  Although Ben liked helping other kids with experiments he’d already done on his own at home, he wanted more, much more.  

In the spring Ben approached me with an idea:  Could he skip the next year of science and take a high school course, Integrated Physical Science (IPS) instead?

But the science department said, “We can’t offer IPS to students until they’ve completed the 8th grade curriculum.”

Ben’s response?  “If I take the 8th grade text home over the summer, do all the chapter questions, and pass the final exam, can I take physical science next year?”

The science teachers agreed to the plan but were pretty sure it wouldn’t work.  What kid would spend his summer independently working his way through the 8th grade curriculum???  Ben would . . . and did.  And of course he passed the exam with flying colors.  And at the end of the next year the IPS teachers honored him with their Excellent Student Award!

But the story doesn’t stop there.  What Ben began expanded since he had demonstrated to teachers that some students are ready for a faster pace and greater depth.  It wasn’t long before they compacted two years of middle school general science into one year for identified students.  And eventually accelerated students were given the choice of IPS and/or Biology, both for high school credit but taught in the middle school.

What had been seen as something “we can’t offer” became something we did offer.  And through Ben’s self-advocacy, scores of other students have benefited from something that now seems common place . . . subject acceleration and early access to high school courses.

Humor

For some reason today I was thinking about five-year-old Charles, a delightful little boy I knew years ago.

"I took the bus home from school today," he told me, "but my mom made me give it back." Then he waited with an expectant smile for the several seconds it took me to catch the pun!

In A Parent’s Guide to Gifted Children (Great Potential Press, Inc., 2007), Webb, Gore, and Amend remind us:   “By age five or six, a gifted child’s strong imagination and creativity are often expressed in an unusually mature sense of humor.”

When teens are self-advocating, it's important for them to remember tip #9 from Galbraith and Delisle's 10 Tips for Talking to Teachers:

9.  Bring your sense of humor.

Not necessarily the joke-telling sense of humor, but the one that lets you laugh at yourself and your own misunderstandings and mistakes

Things I Would Have Said

Some time ago I heard an interview with Jackie Hooper, author of The Things You Would Have Said. The book, based on her blog of the same name, 

Whether the person has passed away, contact was lost, or the strength needed at the time was lacking, this is a chance to say what you have always wanted them to know.”  

 The letters are sometimes sad, sometimes humorous, but always poignant.

Of course I can’t help but hear through my “gifted self-advocacy ears” and as I listened to the interview my mind drifted back to my own school days, my classmates, my classes, my teachers.  What could I have said or done that would have made school better for me? 

The first thing that came to mind . . .

Dear Mrs. Bryce.  About that round-robin reading of Romeo and Juliet we’re doing in English class . . . I love the play, but the slow, slow pace is driving me crazy.  Could I do an independent project instead? 

And then I thought . . .

Dear Mr. White.  I really don’t get this sine/cosine/tangent stuff but I’m afraid to ask for help. I don’t want you or the other kids to think I’m as dumb as I feel right now.

Of course finding an appropriate academic challenge isn’t a new concern.  We all probably struggled with it at one time or another and so did our parents and their parents.  But in an age of budget cuts, staff reductions, and gifted program elimination we MUST empower our students with the skills to advocate for themselves.

So now it’s your turn. What do you wish you’d said to an educator?  Revealing our own academic frustrations may give our students ideas on how to improve their own lives.

Trust me.  Getting it off your chest feels pretty good!

Gets Along Well with Peers

That's a pretty common phrase on assessments of student behavior.  But who exactly are the peers of gifted kids?   They quite naturally have multiple peer groups.  Among others they have age peers and intellectual peers and social peers. It's just part of their asynchronous development.

When my younger son was about 10 years old he developed a passion for the game, Magic: The Gathering, and wanted to hang out at the local card shop, My Parents Basement.  It really was a basement storefront, a few steps down from street level on the main thoroughfare.  And ever-conscientious mom that I was, I told him I'd need to check it out before he could spend his after-school time there. 

I had my doubts . . . classic visions of pool halls and other teen hang-outs in my mind. But the next day when we entered the store together I was greeted with a chorus of "Hey, Mrs. D!"  Almost every face in the room I recognized from my years and years as GT educator and Destination Imagination coach.  Clearly my son's hobby peer group ranged in age from 8 to 38. And on reflection I realized that his community theatre peer group ranged from 8 to 80; running club, 8 to 58. And of course he still loved hanging with his age peers, the kids he'd gone to school with forever.

Around that same time an elementary teacher suggested to me that one of his students not be pulled out for academic enrichment activities until she interacted better with the other pupils in her class.  Her principal agreed that she seemed "anti-social."  Yet I advocated for her inclusion.  I'd seen first hand that she "got along well with her peers."  She had no trouble fitting in perfectly with the other Magic players . . . the huge group of multi-age peers at My Parents Basement.

Can you imagine how we adults would feel if told our peer group could only be those who shared our birth year?

The Watch

Many, many years ago in a community not so far away we started a project called The Young Authors Anthology and invited all middle school students from several districts to submit their creative writing.  The GT coordinator from each district had 8 pages in the spiral-bound book to fill with their best student work.  The selected authors also attended a day-long retreat at the school forest where they expanded their writing skills in one of several workshops and shared their work at the end of the day.  

We began the small group sessions by asking students to turn to their page of the anthology and read their poem or story aloud.  And each year it was pretty much the same . . .  The first student would shyly say, "I didn't want to submit this, but my teacher made me"  or "This isn't very good, but I'll read it anyway" or something equally dismissive.  When they finished we'd all applaud and then I'd ask the others for comments or questions.  The most confident person would speak up: "I like the way you described that" or "Where'd you get that idea?" or "That reminds me of Emily Dickinson." By the time the third student began reading it was obvious they knew they were in the company of like-minded peers and were safe sharing their personal creative efforts.

Naturally most of the poetry submitted had a typical middle school theme -  love.  And usually, "I love you; why don't you love me anymore?"  But sometimes I was startled by the asynchrony of the young gifted writer's maturity, sensitivity, and passion for the language.  Wendy Lewellen Qualls is one of those authors and she's given me permission to share something she wrote in middle school.  



The Watch


Pounding, pounding, pounding
Like a chisel in my head,
The never-ending heartbeat
Of a deity long-dead.

Each little tick and click
Sends a shiver down my spine
From the cruel incessant tocking
Of this pocket watch of mine.

Forever it is captor
And forever we are slaves,
From those toddling from their cradles
To those crawling to their graves.

As long as we're in motion
Then time will be the master
'Cause as fast as you can do it
Someone else can do it faster.

Overexcitabilities: How Parents Can Help

Parents in Oconomowoc asked what they could do to help their children understand, accept and celebrate their overexcitabilities.

Here's one perspective from SENG.  I've summarized it but you can read the entire article by Sharon Lind on the SENG website here.

HOW PARENTS CAN HELP THEIR OE CHILDREN

(It's good to remember that OE people living with other OE people often have more compassion and understanding for each other, but may feel conflicts when their OEs are not to the same degree.)

Discuss the concept of overexcitability

Share the descriptions of OEs.  Ask individuals if they see themselves with some of the characteristics. Point out that being OE is OK and it is understood and accepted.

Focus on the positives

Discuss the positives of each OE. Benefits include being energetic, enthusiastic, sensual, aesthetic, curious, loyal, tenacious, moral, metacognitive, integrative, creative, metaphorical, dramatic, poetic, compassion-ate, empathetic, and self-aware.

Cherish and celebrate diversity

• OE is just one more description of who they are, as is being tall, or Asian, or left-handed. Since OEs are inborn traits, they cannot be unlearned!

• Provide opportunities for people to pursue their passions. This shows respect for their abilities and intensities and allows time for them to “wallow” in what they love, to be validated for who they are.

• Removing passions as consequences for inappropriate behavior has a negative effect by giving the message that your passions, the essence of who you are, are not valuable or worthy of respect.

Use and teach clear verbal and nonverbal communication skills

Verbal-listening, responding, questioning, telephoning, problem solving, and nonverbal-rhythm and use of time, interpersonal distance and touch, gestures and postures, facial expressions, tone of voice, and style of dress.

Verbal and nonverbal strategies improve interpersonal communication and provide the skills individuals need to fit in when they wish to, to change the system if necessary, and to treat others with caring and respect.

Teach stress management from from toddlerhood on

OE individuals have increased stress reactions because of their increased reception of and reaction to external input.  Key components:

• learn to identify your stress symptoms: headache, backache, pencil tapping, pacing, etc.

• develop strategies for coping with stress: talk about your feelings, do relaxation exercises, change your diet, exercise, meditate, ask for help, develop organizational and time management skills and

• develop strategies to prevent stress: make time for fun; develop a cadre of people to help, advise, humor you; practice tolerance of your own and others’ imperfections.

Create a comforting environment whenever possible

Intense people need to know how to make their environment more comfortable in order to create places for retreat or safety.

For example:

• find places to work or think which are not distracting,

• work in a quiet or calm environment,

• listen to music,

• look at a lovely picture

• carry a comforting item

• move while working

• wear clothing that does not scratch or cling.

Learning to finesse one’s environment to meet one’s needs takes experimentation and cooperation from others, but the outcome will be a greater sense of well-being and improved productivity.

Help to raise awareness of behaviors and their impact on others

Paradoxically, OE people are often insensitive and unaware of how their behaviors affect others. They may assume that everyone will just understand why they interrupt to share an important idea, or tune out when creating a short story in their head during dinner.

Teach children

• to be responsible for their behaviors,

• to become more aware of how their behaviors affect others

• to understand that their needs are not more important than those of others.

Remember the joy

Often when OE is discussed examples and concerns are mostly negative. Remember that being overexcitable also brings with it great joy, astonishment, beauty, compassion, and creativity. Perhaps the most important thing is to acknowledge and relish the uniqueness of an OE child or adult.

The Attributes Quiz

It’s valuable for us all to remember that being gifted doesn’t always mean kids are neat or organized or get their work in on time. Take this quiz to remind yourself of the difference between attributes of good character (which we are helping ALL students develop) and the attributes generally true of children identified as gifted. The Attributes Quiz